


Things We Lost In The Flames

by lee_godhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Some Swearing, also donnie darko, based off nctmentarys, so um good luck figuring out what the plot is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 21:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14387262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lee_godhyuck/pseuds/lee_godhyuck
Summary: Dreams are the manifestation of the human mind, yet Mark Lee has no such things. At least he can't remember them, but not a surprise as he's seemed to forgotten everything. Time is ticking and the others need saving but it's up to poor confused Mark to save everyone.





	Things We Lost In The Flames

**Author's Note:**

> tbh this whole fic can act as a spoiler for the movie Donnie Darko so just beware if you ever want to watch it.  
> I've also posted this before but because I didn't realize it didn't actually update the whole story I had to fix so sorry if you're reading this again!

"Dreams are defined as a series of thoughts, sensations or images brought onto us as we sleep. What most are not aware of is R.E.M, not the band, but  _rapid eye movement._   What is it exactly? Well simply put, just your eye jolting around while you sleep..."  

Kind of like what I am doing now. Scanning the expressions of the students that sit in front of me, some of them aren't paying attention; too preoccupied with their phones or dozing off. It's perfect timing though, having literature class at 8 A.M was a bit of a drag; plus, the fact that my presentation is about dreams only encouraged sleepiness. Our teacher let us create an informative speech as the final assessment for this unit. Honestly, I was quite excited for it, but, when I opened my notebook to jot down ideas... Nothing came to mind. 

As the deadline for our rough draft arrived, I got stressed and started falling to the hands of an old friend. Insomnia.  

"There's different R.E.M sleep stages though, they just cycle about every 90 minutes or so. The first 4 stages are just composed of non-rem sleep, in where we just begin falling asleep. Stage 5 is where the dreams start to come alive and from there... It repeats." 

 _The weekend before the rough draft was due, I lied awake in my bed, uncomfortably shifting time after time. I started to accept my failure for this assessment, until it finally hit me._  

 _Literally._  

 _My older brother,_ _Seo_ _Youngho_ _or Johnny as we nicknamed him, threw a sock at me. "Yo, Mark, you know it's like..." He looked at his phone, "5'o clock in the morning, did you not go to sleep again? You can't keep doing this to yourself." He said with a bit of annoyance._  

Even though I was adopted into the Seo family after a previous house fire, me being the only survivor, it was as if we were blood related brothers. It's no shock Johnny was awake, he was a university student who had too much spare time, considering he was studying to become a physicist. At the moment, he wanted to study the physics of dreams in depth. Him and his other same major friends were weirdly obsessed with this. I won't lie, when he first told me about it, I was super interested but then he went off an extreme tangent on physics and I zoned out. I hated physics class, I'd preferred biology and chemistry.  

I wasn't aware I was losing focus in my own speech that I whole heartedly loved. Thank God for Renjun, he was a year younger and only in this class thanks to fast tracking in order to get some world history class. "Insomnia and hypersomnia" He muttered. 

Oh right, the reasons I'm even doing this speech.  

"Though some people suffer from sleeping disorders... Most people have heard of or had insomnia which is the inability to sleep during some sort of time frame, it can become habitual. Though most people tend to ignore hypersomnia which is the opposite, people with this type of habit have excessive feelings of sleepiness and sleep a lot."  

 _That Saturday morning, Johnny decided to try and get me into his studies again. I decided why not since I was already awake with stress-induced insomnia. He drove us down to some sketchy looking building. When we enter_ _ed_ _the building, it was even more sketchy, the lighting was shit and it hurt for me to focus on anything_ _there_ _. Looking around, there were a bunch of computers and tv's, random items and a couch... Oh, and a bunch of what I guessed were records of previous trials. "I know, it's a mess but it's good enough for us." Us meaning him, Taeyong and Taeil._  

 _I hummed in acknowledgement; the giant computer kept bugging me. I mean, what did they research for? Johnny must have caught me staring, "C'mon have a s_ _eat,_ _I'll show you how it works and I'll try not to get all physics on you." I snorted._  

 _As we sat down, Johnny started rapidly typing things_ _into_ _the keyboard and a bunch of codes, statistics and charts popped up. "You already know the basics of what I'm looking at, just how dreams work. Taeyong is currently on his own journey of looking to the forms of dreams, he had the idea when all he could remember dreaming of was color. Taeil, is my right-hand man in this project, he proposed the idea of seeing if we could literally record dreams and what happens in the brain. That's what these charts are alluding to." He pointed to one, it read information of the duration of a dream and the brain activity._  

 _"But me? I'm focusing on lucid dreaming, I mean it's cool, like, people have all this control but why?" I wasn't lost at that point_ _. Suddenly,_ _somewhere along the lines I woke up on the couch in the room, coming to_ _my_ _senses I realized there were wires attached to me leading to the computer and_ _TV_ _'s. Dazed, I sat up a bit too quickly and the sudden blood rush to my head sent me lying down again._  

 _"Oh good, you're awake, thought you would pass out until Monday. It's Saturday and 3:14 in the afternoon. I don't know if you remember anything because you were extremely tired at the time, but, you agreed to allow me to look into your dreams. Speaking of which, you might want to see this." Johnny said without looking at me, just making a "come hither" motion._  

"Lucid dreams are dreams where the dreamer is aware that they're dreaming. It's an out of body experience, your body is shut down but your brain is fully functioning as if it was awake. In a lucid dream, you have the control over your dream, your basically your own god." Looking around, some of the students started to pay attention. I mean lucid dreaming is... something people are fascinated by, yet so afraid of. 

"Though, to some there's a catch. If you're more of a spiritual believer then the whole 'I can die in my dream's, we'll let bad omens into this world!' Façade is what people tend to think of. Of course, this worry has a name. Sleep paralysis, it's still a dream and out of body experience expect you have no control. Your body is paralyzed and you cannot talk. People report that they see scary things in this state, the best thing to do when you're in this situation is to relax, close your eyes and try to focus on moving a body part, the toes are the easiest to do this with." 

God, I hated sleep paralysis, every time I napped it happened to me. I'm so use to it that I practically almost have control over that... side. I wonder, what would happen if I had control in it but rather than waking up. I could stay in it? Would I want to? Is there a reason why these horror like visions are shown to us?  

 _"Dude, this is new for us! We haven't got anyone lucid dreaming on record before. Look here, the brain activity is through the graph's increments! Just what did you even dream of?" I couldn't remember entirely, though I remember my friends – Donghyuck, Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung and Chenle being there. "I think me and the boys were walking around town, but it felt weird for some reason." Not a lie, I had the feeling as if something followed us, even now I do. I looked over my shoulder out of nerves. I almost jumped, Taeyong stood directly behind me. When did he even come? Was he always here?_  

 _"Hey Mark, heard you gave some us great things to work with." He smiled softly at me, it's insane how inhumanely ethereal this man looked. He was a dream to be honest. It's almost as if he's not real sometimes. Him and Johnny began speaking about the data, my brother then looked at me. "Yo man, do you mind if we... use you as research? Not like every day, but when you have time? Maybe bring in some of the boys? I think it's time we open up this project to further enhance our studies." I nodded, sure if it meant helping my brother come closer to some conclusion why not._  

 _I went home, it was a gray day, it had been gloomy this entire month. "Mark, help!" A boy's voice cried out, startled, I looked around the sidewalks and squinted to see if I could find anything. Nothing, again. Weirded out, I began clutching onto my phone ready to call if anything where to happen and practically ran back home._  

I continued my speech, going on into different meanings of dreams and such, it was straight forward from there. Though the imposing upcoming final statement left my mouth.  

"But, we have yet to fully comprehend what dreams are and why there is such diversity in them. Scientists research for a proposal to answer our questions, which leaves us to think. Why are we shown these images? Thank you." The class applauded me as I made my way to sit beside Renjun. He looked at me, "How did you go from writing about why you think Canada's maple syrup will save us all to this?" He was beside me the whole week I couldn't sleep, he brought me an iced coffee each day, it was the end of the summer months, September would end and we would be greeted with October's strong winds and colorful scenery.  

I shrugged, that Saturday I spent the rest of the day wondering about that lucid dream and what it could have meant? Why couldn't I remember it? Usually I do. "Johnny was gonna punch me if I didn't dedicate something towards him." Renjun laughed, it was a likely scenario, Johnny was... clingy to say the least underneath his mature, 'I'm a physics major' facade. It was out of love and support. "Apparently that old house that they wanted to drop down is staying up. It's some sort of landmark in this place, at least that's what Chenle was rambling about. I could be wrong. Well he would be wrong."  

The bell rang, I waved Renjun off and made my way up to the roof. I had a spare this period, a bit useless in my opinion, it's oddly placed but whatever I'll take it I needed this break along with lunch with my courses this semester. Literature, Calculus and Philosophy. I have no idea why I even took the last class, or any of them for that matter, I'm extremely stress about having to leave my friends and go off to study something. It sucked, I mean yeah, I do have friends in my own grade level, but my group that I was truly comfortable with were all a year, two or even three years younger than me! I wondered what the youngest's would do when the other's graduate.  

Constant stress, left and right. I hate being seen the way I am; Mark Lee, the perfect senior! My grades were impressive, not that I ever boast them, I joined a bunch of clubs in my first year but now I stick to the Student Government, [it's more like council]. The athletic club where Jaemin and Jeno would take advantage of me jokingly by bossing me around as they were the president and vice president of that extracurricular. At one time, I was a part of the school's football team [not American obviously] with Donghyuck, the school's beloved striker and Jisung, the goalkeeper; I dropped it after the practices interfered with other things.  I also tutored the younger kids when I had time with Renjun and Chenle. Also, having to balance a job with the stress of university entrance exams and the courses I took was painful. I wish people would stop envying me, if we're being real, I am extremely overworked and it's unhealthy. 

Sitting on the school's roof was a tradition and healing for me. We spent our lunches up here when it was nice enough, the other student's respected our little meeting place and left us alone. "You're going to get wrinkles earlier if you keep scowling like that Mark Lee." Turning around, I saw Donghyuck. "And you should stop skipping anthropology, you're going to fail." I fired back. It usually went down like this, Donghyuck would come to check up on me rather than worrying about his own studies.  

He came to sit beside me, "As if Renjun doesn't tell me this every day, what are you guys? My parents? Speaking of Renjun, he said your speech went well. I'm happy that you can finally stop stressing over that." His voice was soft and matched the light breeze. "Yeah, I hope our teacher thinks the same. I just don't know why I chose dreams to ta-" I was cut off, "Because Johnny would have punched you if you didn't. I'm sure it was fine, when you're into something it shows... You like, glow, it's kinda cute." There's the teasing.  

We sat in silence for a while, until "Oh shit! We're started some sort of partner research today on something, I better go because if Renjun isn't my partner, Lord knows I'm going to get chewed out by Mrs. Jung... I'll catch you later Mark." Donghyuck started making his way back into the school, "Mark... Just stop stressing, we'll figure it out together. The 7 of us, we're always here for each other,  _life or death._ ” The door made a loud sound as it was closed. 

The rest of the week had gone fairly normal and that was another week's workload done with. The weekend had rolled around and so did I as I went to check who had decided to text me at 6:24 am on a Saturday. Angrily and sleepily muttering, my eyes focused to see "Dreamies" as the display name, our group chat. We got the nickname from Johnny as well, he really treats us like small children.  

It was Jisung who had initiated the conversation, a shock that the youngest even woke up at this time. His text read, " _Chenle won't stop bothering me about this and his phone is dead, he thinks we should go visit that old house now that it's open again. I think it's a stupid idea. He wants us to meet there by 8:30 am"_ I rolled my eyes, ever since Chenle found out about the house staying up it's all he ever talked about. I couldn't be bothered to answer.  

 _Bing! Bing!_ _Brrring_ _!_  

Sighing loudly, I looked at the group chat again. It was Jaemin, " _Jisung, as much as I think you're adorable, you won't look as adorable when I punch you for waking me up at this hour. It's Saturday you moron."_ Anyone could hear the volleyball's captain's distaste in this text. It was followed by Renjun, " _Jisung, could do us a great favor of telling Chenle that I will call his grandmother back in China to come and collect him, it'd much appreciated!  :)"_ Oh no, the smiley was never a good sign.  

The final text was from Jeno, " _I say we all just go, this is gonna get more annoying if we don’t ever listen to the prince. I'll see you all in a bit."_ There's the resolution. " _Oh and Mark, call Donghyuck we all know he probably turned off the notifications for us since he's not the one starting the convo. Boy's probably in a sleep coma."_  

Donghyuck was indeed asleep, his whiny voice was still so audible through the speaker. He cursed a bit and then deeply sighed. "Fine, I'll see you."  

After explaining to my parent's that we would be out, lying that we wanted to play soccer, I left the house.  

Upon arriving on bike to the old house, I heard Chenle before I saw him. His laughter could be heard from countries away, beside him Jisung was towering over him looking very sleepy. It was 8:23. They've probably been here since 7. Courtesy of Zhong Chenle, musical legend. The sound of wheels rolling on the road became loud and so did bickering. Turning around, it was Renjun on a bike, Jaemin and Donghyuck on their long boards; they lived in the same neighborhood. "You must be out of your mind if you think Arsenal will win against Chelsea!" Claimed Jaemin to Donghyuck, they were arguing about football. The crunching of leaves came from another direction, straight ahead of me was Jeno, he lived close by and came by feet.  

As they approached me, we wished one another a good morning doing the same when we reached the younger ones who sat on the porch of the house. Chenle's smile was beaming, "Okay now that we're all here, let's explore this place!" It was the obvious and only thing we came to do, we're too young to know the historical value of the house. Johnny told me it was the first house here and that a bunch of people who lived here didn't tend to stay long. Spooky if you ask me. 

"And if the door's locked, what are we going to do? Take an axe to these wooden boards and go in? That's breaking the law, Chenle." Renjun stated, worried of what may happen to us if we were caught.  

"Well let's just see." Chenle went to reach out for the doorknob and twist it. The door flung open thanks to the strong autumn like wind. Then I felt a weird sensation, deja-vu. This phenomenon was described by the French as a moment where you have “already seen” an event, most likely in a dream. However, this vision was extremely hazy, I was in the midst of remembering the time I had seen this but then it was gone, as if I never really saw it.  

One by one we started entering the landmark, it’s interior was opposite to it’s exterior. The rooms seemed well polished like someone was making use of the vacant space; that was hopefully false as this house was abandoned for years. Seemingly to add onto the spooky aura, few of the furniture was covered by this white cloth similar to what you’d see in a horror movie, it’s ugly yellow walls somewhat matched the rest of the old décor. “God, this place is old! Just look at these pictures, looks like the Great Depression!” Renjun stated but Jaemin was fast to shut him up, “Yeah and if we were American. Full offence we suffered, but unlike the Americans. They were stupid and it wasn’t until Germany surprisingly started reviving themselves did the East side follow in saving themselves shortly.”  What did it matter, the past occurred and this argument about history and the war was bound to get messy. I had to stop it before it got to that point. “Listen, were here for exploring let’s just keeping doing that shall we? It’s the weekend, give all that information a break!” In the corner of my eye I saw Jeno nodding.  

Renjun rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I’m just trying to say this place really has been here for a while.” His mood would end shortly, I quietly sighed and went to find Donghyuck who was busy looking at the bookshelf. “There’s a bunch of traditional Korean music, swing, jazz records here. A weird collection but cool, Chenle come check this out I’d think you’d like it.” The two musical geniuses conversed on music. Then a voice grabbed my attention, “Hey guys the basement here is kinda of creepy!” Jisung called out while motioning for us to follow him.  

I was the last to get to the stairs but I felt it again. Not deja-vu but it felt like someone was watching me closely. The imposing and ominous thought of “ _I shouldn’t be, we shouldn’t be here.”_ Came across my mind like a mice running away from a cat, quickly and somewhat gracefully. I gulped this feeling down into the depths of my stomach acid in hopes it would dissolve into wasteful matter and not pose a threat on our fun. Jisung was correct, this basement was completed with fine architectural details but the main focus was on the projector. The blank and white screen that stood before us, coincidently there were 7 perfect seats. Strange. What was the point of this set up? Was there truly another or multiple beings using this house? Why did this house seem to accommodate us all in such precise manners?  

Apparently I was not the only one to have thought about our safety, “You know this is a little suspicious. Yeah, given it’s an abandoned house it’d be creepy… But don’t you get the feeling it’s weird how clean it is in here?” Questioned Jeno, he voiced what I could not. Chenle answered with a “Don’t be scared Jeno, that’s no fun! C’mon they wanted to knock this place down, the contractors probably came in and out of here! Let’s just see what else we can find in here.” He then grabbed Jisung’s hand and pulled the poor boy to follow him back upstairs all the way to the top floor. The bedrooms were nice to say the least, almost too welcoming. Each room seemed to be curated in such a unique way but yet that’s what drew us in to stay, we found comfort on the top floor where we were closest to the sky. Our day continued with laughs and eventually we deemed this house to be some new hangout.  

* * *

 

I hated being dramatic but it was odd, each level of the house brought on a whole different aura. The basement always tempted the negativity within me, yet it was a void that called out to me. For what? Am I missing something, why is it every time I passed the dark passage way I started to feel like I was shrinking. 

Just like I do now, I was falling into an endless pit, my body felt weightless until I gained the feeling in it again. You know that moment when you are falling asleep but suddenly jolt up because you truly think you’re falling? Yeah, that was all I could remember for the last month. It was the week of Halloween and I did not need a costume, I was already a living zombie; appearance wise at least. My sleeping patterns were jarred compared to my friends. Johnny was now locked away every weekend without a doubt cooped up staring at a screen. The one that showed my results, it was amazing. The colors would all be there and suddenly it was gone, turned to black and would repeat again.  

“Hey, you might want to see this!” Johnny chirped up and I wobbly made my way over to his shoulder. He then explained how it was as if all my brain activity shut down, that there was no longer a form in it. When it did return, it was brand new. “Well isn’t that what Taeyong is searching for? The formations of dreams?” I perked up but was faced with a confused face from my older brother, “What do you mean? Taeyong isn’t searching such things. He’s looking for the connection between memories and dreams. Though, we should check for that too.” It was now my turn to be confused. “But that day you first documented my dreams, you mentioned how I was lucid dreaming and that Taeyong couldn’t remember his dreams aside from colors.” I stated with an obvious tone which made Johnny unimpressed, “Uh Mark, I don’t have any records of you personally lucid dreaming. I mean I got some of Jisung and Jaemin, even Ten but never you.” He said while pointing over to the stash of records. “That’s impossible, I remember it so clearly.” My hands rushed through the endless information but after triple checking there was no mention of it. The same dark feeling returned.  

“You okay Mark? You haven’t been sleeping well and the rest of the Dreamies seem concerned.  _You do_ _know they aren’t here anymore,_ think they’re at the hangout _._ ” I shook the feeling off and lightly smiled, I then proceeded to tell Johnny I was going to meet them if that was the case.  

As I made my way towards the house, I heard it. “ _Mark, the tree!”_  Whipping my head, there was no evidence of another soul near me. I was growing annoyed at this point, each day I walked this path I either heard or saw something, these voices and images seem so close to me as well. Maybe Johnny’s right, I am losing sleep which could lead to hallucinating. My phone created a pitch that indicated me of a message, it was from Donghyuck who had this to say:  

 _Mark,_ _if you don’t get here sooner the fun will be over._  

I snorted, what fun? The irregular pattern of sound waves we created also known as noise? Jeno showing off magic tricks because he picked them up randomly, claiming he loved to see people's reactions? Donghyuck recording all our stupid moments for memories? Yeah, it was fun being annoying teenagers with a cliché hangout. When I arrived at the house I was greeted with something I had never seen before, a gigantic tree stood proudly by the entrance gate. Was that always there? With the bare branches I could make out figures sitting there up in the sky, Renjun and Chenle. They appeared to be in deep conversation but I did not understand it at all as they spoke in their native tongue. I decided it was best to leave them enjoy such freedom and make my way inside but I was stopped by another figure. Even though I squinted I couldn’t see who it was, but I am positive someone stood at the trunk of the tree and dropped a bag of water. I blinked quickly and they were gone. Weird, more hallucinations maybe.

It was nearing evening, the sun was setting into this pumpkin orange and if you looked at the horizon, the blues of night time poked through. I entered the house and felt out of place. To further my earlier analogy, the main level of the house was the middle ground. It seemed to tiptoe the two contrasting auras the upper and lower levels gave me; a sense of security that was about to be snatched from my grasp. It was like watching a burning flame from a safe distance. Automatically, I found the other 4 in a room where Jeno was showing them a new trick. Donghyuck recorded in awe while Jisung and Jaemin still talked about their shared dream.  

It was a while ago but they apparently had the exact same dream. They saw each other within the others dream and were spooked, they talked endlessly on what this connection could mean. I wish I could relate. As of lately, my dreams were scattered and didn’t seem to synchronize properly. By that, I mean I am seeing people and such bizarre scenarios I never seen or met before. The one I can visibly remember is myself reaching out, I’m not sure to who as I was stranded in a desert with nothing near me. I kept reaching out and I hit something, my hand was being absorbed by an external unknown force and then it consumed me whole. That’s how a majority of my endless falling started off, then few nights afterwards I had a million visions appear before me. Nothing that I can remember though, however… Water seemed to be a key resemblance between them.  

“Hey Mark, were you even listening?” Donghyuck asked me, he was talking? I shook my head, “Well listen this time because I’m not repeating myself. Halloween is soon and we have no idea how to spend it. Are we getting last minute costumes or just hanging out or scaring little kids?” I wanted to answer but thought about the 2 missing friends, “We should wait for Chenle and Renjun to stop talking. They were outside on the tree I’m sure we can call them in here.” I said and started to open the window that looked onto said tree. Though as I did, an immense wave of heat hit me and I looked onto a burning tree, the sound of the roaring flames and sirens blared into my ears. Chenle and Renjun’s screams made me fall back onto the floor.  

“What the fuck Mark? Are you okay?!” Questioned Jaemin, he and Jisung had helped me back up. I blurted out “Wait where are they?!” I said to no one in particular, speaking on behalf of Chenle and Renjun. Jeno gave me a weird face, “What do you mean? They’re on that branch right there… You sure you’re feeling good Mark?  _Were all still here_ _, I don't know about you_ _.”_  I was sweating, had I really just pictured that two of my friends were becoming engulfed with flames and dying a painful hellish death? What the heck. I flicked my wrist to show them I was fine and needed a moment.  

The others had joined us and the group decided what to do for Halloween. The majority voted to hangout here, claiming they were too old to go trick-or-treating or too soft to traumatize children. Wordlessly, I agreed.  

The night was upon us and we made our ways home. A new week was to start.  

* * *

 

Initially, I could not inhale or exhale. I struggled in my falling position feeling as if I was about to choke to death. The limitation on my breath made me lightheaded, my chest tighten. Was this sleep paralysis? I assumed it was not as I found myself waking to smoke surrounding my body. As I rose, it was dark and all was lit by a smoky carbonic path, I followed it until a room morphed before me. This was the house, our hangout but what is this room? Was this an attic? I continued following the smoky way and found myself looking at a person who sat in a chair. It was Jisung. He was writing in his notepad, I could hear his thoughts, “ _Last night, I had a dream…”_

I would not hear any further because the room and Jisung seemed to move far away from my sight. I ran and ran to catch up but could not, Jisung was gone. However, he had dropped his notepad picking it up I read the letter.  

I was rudely awaken by Johnny shaking me violently. “Hey I know it’s like 5 am on a Saturday but do you wanna see something at the lab?” I groaned and went out to swat his hands away, I mumbled a sleepy nod. Johnny left the room as I went to prepare myself for such an early and daunting start. Every time I came to the lab I had the eerie feeling that someone was watching me. This morning, Taeil was sat down typing away at his personal laptop, we exchanged good mornings.  

“So, I thought about how you told me in your literature class you were debating a spectrum.” Johnny begun. Ah yes, this week mine and Renjun’s shared class had turned philosophical, our teacher bothered us on what we believe were the two extreme factors that conjured our life. Now, to a class full of seniors who could care less with their little life experiences, and distaste to even being in the class it was fruitless. However, Renjun and I spoke amongst ourselves after class, Renjun proposed that it was useless to only choose two factors as life has endless possibilities. I could not deny him his opinion, though I asked him what would happen if this life was the only outcome, that maybe it was a fluke and already predestined and that there were no possibilities. Renjun had nothing to say expect for arguing his standpoint in the belief of  _alternate universes._ Valid.  

“So me and Taeil talked about it. Obviously we kind of agree with Renjun because you never know where life will take you. But, on a physics view where every thing suddenly has a purpose and just makes sense, I can see where you’re coming from. It’s like the way most don’t truly understand how gravity works, there’s a deeper science but who really wants to learn in depth what 9.81 m/s of a downwards acceleration really means. There’s one outcome with that constant.” Johnny paused and Taeil continued, “That’s were I thought Johnny was wrong. Yeah you can have gravity going down, but in a way also upwards. Look at elevators, sure it’s the tension in the ropes but gravity is also a force acting on that same motion. Negative and positive acceleration is a thing Mark, which means anything is possible in your spectrum, you can have 2 factors that determine everything in between.” Another voice interjected, “Therefore, you can tell your teacher that  _r_ _eality_  and  _l_ _imitation_  are your factors.” It was Taeyong and he continued, “Is this life even real? Who knows, alternative universes could be real making them a reality. On the flip side though we don’t know because we are limiting ourselves to be open minded to what we know as reality. Are we really making any real progress?” I stood between them mindlessly, I started to zone out a bit at the mention of gravity but then Taeyong just summarized it. That was all I needed.  

“Anyway, what I even brought you here for was to show you why your assignment kinda relates with us. I had this dream that I was in the sky on some platform, I kept running and running to find some exit but only met stairs that led to nothing. I then looked and saw something in front of me, formation of a vast space but there was a hand also reaching out through the sky.” I nodded to show I was listening, “Thing is, I had the exact dream.” Taeil stated. Oh, oh.  

This was weird, everyone I knew was starting to see each other in their dreams. That, or they had the exact same one. Though, why couldn’t I remember my own that well? It was like that time I believed Taeyong was suffering from a similar situation; how he only saw color but I was proven wrong. I refuse to accept that it never happened because I remembered it so well, that was something I  _could_  remember.  

Routinely, I left to make my way towards the hangout but this time it was different. There was smoke covering the entire streets, the sound of someone running reached my ears. I turned trying to find the source but then I blacked out.  

I looked up at the grey sky, not a cloud to be spotted. Nothing was to be spotted actually, the land was as bare as the sky aside from small foliage. I heard it underneath my feet, glancing down a roof tile shifted. I then took in my situation, I was standing on top of the debris of a broken roof, a broken house to be exact. My head started to pound, the vision of water and the roaring sea spoke to me. Ignoring it, I went onto to assert the fact I was in the middle of a destructive scene, why was this place so familiar? Why did my heart ache whenever I tried to remember? Stepping away from the broken and burnt house I walked towards a giant piece of machinery. Wait haven’t I seen this before? These TV’s and laptops felt sentimental to me, I then looked into the dark screen of one of the TVs.  

I was appalled, this was not my body. Who was this? Who am I? I went to touch my reflection but was pulled through into the TV, I was falling again. A desert I befriended over time greeted me. This time, I held two bags of water and a burning flag waved above me. I looked ahead and manipulated a tidal wave to occur, it soothed me. The rush of water. Focusing on the spiral of the wave I was taken to another perspective, it was unclear like prescription glasses that did not belong to you, though I could make out the imagery. Two boys running into a burning hou- 

A slap to my left cheek made me wake in a fit of controlled anger. “Mark, what the actual hell? This is happening too often! You’re just starting to faint regularly! Lucky enough Jaemin and Jeno were also on there way here!” Donghyuck whined. I felt hot, what was happening to me? Have I really been fainting? Why can’t I remember anything?! Why does it feel like I’m repeating the same thing over and over again? I started to pick at my hands and force myself to remember something, anything but all I saw was fire. What does that mean?!  

“Listen guys, I’m not feeling well. Maybe I’m getting a fever or something, I’m gonna go home and sleep it off.” I told them, not exactly a lie. I did need the sleep as well. They looked at me understandingly, as I was leaving the house I heard Chenle call out for me, “Mark if you feel better tomorrow don’t forget it’s halloween and were going to be here all day!” I gave a thumbs up and left.  

As I walked home with my hands stuffed into my pockets, I saw it again. A figure, who carried bags of water, the roaring sound of fires and screams became more audible with each step closer to the figure. Until I reached where the person stood, and they were gone again. However, the water splashes on the ground told me that it was not fake, that they were real. Once I safely arrived home, I went into my room and sought out for a book. I’m not sure to whom this notepad belonged to but it had one entry in it that was significant to me.  

 _Last night, I had a dream. I was lured and surrounded by smoke, I followed it and reached our safe house; the hangout._ _I then remember peeking out through the tiny window in the door and looked outside, I stared at Him. He was on the other side of the door, acceptingly I opened it for him. We then joined the rest of them by the projector and took our corresponding seats. We waited but for who? Ah, I turned my head and there was my answer. Our friend. The one who could not wake up. He has realized it but if he is here, what does that mean?_  

I read it over and over again every night like clockwork, I could not make sense of it at all. Why did this feel so personal? I opted to read it until I was immersed into it, I failed everyday though. What is this realization they speak of? I am an intrigued.  

My sleep eyes closed on me and I was drifting.  

Hot. I felt hot, I was sweating but where was this source of heat coming from? I gasped like a fish looking for water, I shot up and recognized this room. My old room, this was the room I should have died in. I could smell and see it, the burning sensation and flames grew stronger. Panicking, I opened my window and jumped in hopes of catching onto a nearby branch. From my seated position on the branch I glazed on my house, it was burning and falling apart. The loud sirens of the firetrucks neared, paramedics and police neared but it was too late. My family was gone.  

The house slowly regenerated before me, the sounds of the local neighbors and officials drowned out. The front door open swung open and I aimlessly entered it, out of instinct I went into the basement. Each step was dreadful, then into view they came. My friends, they sat in chairs and I looked at them and the blank projector. One of them turned their heads and looked directly at me and smiled, it was Jisung. I slowly made my way to the only seat and sat. The projector started displaying a scenery.  

It was the burning house,  _my_  burning house. “Oh this part’s like magic, watch!” Jeno had said, in this video the tree was being zoomed in on and it was bursting in wild flames. “Ah yeah, look! You can see me Chenle panicking!” Emotionlessly stated Renjun, this video was striking fear into me. When did this happen?! Then the film zoomed into the tree’s trunk, a boy stood there with water bags trying to put out the flame. “Pfft, can’t believe you could stop it like that Mark!” Donghyuck stated while slapping me on the back. Sure enough, the boy was me.  

A new video started, it was Donghyuck and Jaemin running towards the burning house. “Jesus, were always late to the fun aren’t we.” Said Jaemin. There in the clip they happily walked into a fiery death while the camera turned back to me yelling at them to stop.  

Finally, the last video showed us Jisung who stood surrounded by waves on a tiny platform. “Hmph, don’t understand this yet either. We haven’t visited it completely.” The youngest remarked. What? “C’mon guys you don’t remember this? It’s the tidal wave we stared at when we were in that desert!” They looked at me weirdly, one by one their flesh started melting away and turned into ashes. I screamed.  

I screamed until I couldn’t hear my voice anymore, I was lying down and stuck. The dark feeling returned and I knew it. This was sleep paralysis. I fought it multiple times and would do so now, as I focused on my toes they easily returned to me along with my body. The only issue being, I did not leave this dark state of mind. Regularly, when one wakes from paralysis they wake up in the real world but at the moment I was stuck here.  

I got up and tried to move forward but to the ground and looked into a gigantic mirror. I stared at my reflection, I was in a daze. “In a few hours, you will have a decision to make. Will you stay in false hope and limit yourself or will you decide to join us where you really belong, in reality.” I couldn’t speak, “You have failed countless times to prevent the outcomes. Do you wish to be stuck in the fake world because you are afraid to accept the truth? Is this why you hide behind  _them_ and run from what is to happen. They cannot protect you any longer. Think quickly Mark.”  

“What does that fucking mean? I’ve tried to remember it! I can’t do it at all! Help me, guide me!” My reflection laughed, “I have guided you into multiple trigger points yet you do not see the path! They and I can no longer guide you, judgement hour is almost amongst us. All I can say is that,  _are you dreaming?”_  

With that I woke up.  

It was the next day and it was Halloween. I locked myself in my room and tried to make sense of anything. I was losing it, I wanted to break down and cry. I thought about it, “ _Guide…? Failed…?”_ I looked up onto my calendar and glanced at it. I looked through it and only saw the month of October repeating. In anger, I checked my phone’s calendar but it brought me the same results.  

1934 

1956 

1971 

1999 

2007 

2018  

These years were also repeated,  _countless times_.  

I looked at the previous years and looked for Halloween day. It was marked with a drawing of a house and red circle.  _Doomsday_  is what it read.. This singular word sent me into euphoria. I looked at the time and saw it was 11:32 PM, Halloween would end shortly. I then ran out my house and ran to our hangout. The memories flooding into my head, I cannot believe I denied Renjun’s opinion for this assignment. He was right, they all were in a way.  

Out of breath, I made my way to the hangout, my old house and knocked so loudly. Surely, they must still be here. This time the wind opened it again, I made my way to quickly find them, in a haste I ran upstairs to my old room. There I found them laughing, surrounded by candles that were hazardous. They noticed me and time had slowed down, the curtain drape caught fire quickly and without another word I began pushing them out the bedroom, they started to run down the stairs, then suddenly all too close to home it happened again. The kitchen’s gaseous and explosive stove erupted in fire, so did the radiator and fire started to surround us. The burning flame upstairs was quickly catching us, the front door was blocked with the kitchen’s great flames. The carbon monoxide spread into the house and into our lungs.  

“Duck and try to hold your breath!” I yelled out to them looking for a place to escape, we all coughed disgustingly. The heat was getting to me but I would not lose, I went to try and break a window open but the barricades proved to be troublesome. I kept smashing things towards the wooden panel until it started to break free. There was another person assisting me, Jaemin, " _T_ _ime's running out Mark, you better hurry_." He hurled another piece of wood to bash the remaining pieces and it broke free. The fire was dangerously close and I pushed them out one by one. The last to stand in the house with me was Donghyuck, I looked at him and stopped him from speaking. “Go. Now!” He complained on what I was doing, I would have jumped out the window as well but this was  _predestined_. I had to die.  

The tears that filled his eyes hurt me but what hurt more was the piece of wood that fell onto me. I was buried under the support of the house and the fire neared me. I looked at the camera Donghyuck usually carried around. I was now empathetic to my friend's feelings. However, I could no longer hide behind them. I could not shy away from death and throw them under the flames anymore.  

This was the end of my universe, the vast amount of alternate varieties. In reality, we were all dead. This universe enlightened me into continuing the current timeline. I would no longer have to repeat October of 2018 and Halloween day ever again. I was past the life spectrum, I was ruining the life spectrum for it could not move forward. These weeks would repeat over and over again until I finally restored life as we knew it. Where I am recarinated into a new person, a new life. This universe was my dreamland, where I hid and curated a whole new outcome. The one where I wasn’t needed anymore. In reality, I am dead, so are the rest of my friends, Johnny was truly my brother and dead. Taeyong in the universe served me as a symbol to realize that I was the colors he saw, because no one could see the future anymore. I was stuck in between copious amounts of universes that blended into one, this one. I was selfish though, I was afraid to die alone like every other creature in this life. So selfish that I sacrificed the lives of 6 to spare me my freak accident death. The burning house was never theirs, it was mine from all those years ago.  

The roar of the cackling flame was wild and heavy in hatred, life it's self was disappointed in me. Everything was unbalanced because a singular soul was not harvested. I am being engulfed by the flames and it burns but brings me satisfaction. I can save them this one time, save everyone from this endless loop.  

Maybe if I was able to move between the timelines, I could visit them again. Perhaps we would meet again, in our dreams. Though how ironic, the dream I die in is the best dream I and anyone could have.

**Author's Note:**

> so if you're a little confused, without spoiling Donnie Darko though I kinda did already... Basically, this story revolves around time travel and alternate universes! Clearly, the similarity between the film and the nctmentary's being the concepts of dream! If you need more clarification, just comment below!


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